21 Facts You Did Not Know About Gaara
by MinoAcid
Summary: You'd be surprised how little you actually knew about him... Until now!


Soranium: I ran into a wall while writing Time and Fate, and so, to pass time, I made this! Please enjoy. Or else Gaara will kill you.

Mark: Oh please, everybody knows you're bluffing.

Soranium: Oh, shut your trap.

Disclaimer: Soranium does not own Naruto, its characters, and everything else in it. If he did, he would be [censored] rich now, and wouldn't bother writing in here.

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><p><strong>21 Facts About Gaara that Nobody Else Knows<strong>

1. **Gaara has smiled exactly 10 times in his lifetime. ****9 of his 10 smiles happened when he was an infant.**

2. **Gaara's mother is an Uzumaki, specifically Uzumaki Kushina's younger sister: Uzumaki Karura. Gaara does not know this, and neither does Naruto.**

3. **During the 2 and 1/2 years of Naruto's absence from Konoha, Gaara had visited the place 27 times. These **27 visits to Konoha were all dedicated to studying the Nara boy his sister was fond off, so that he could learn the secret art of attracting women.****

4. **Gaara is fond of big breasts. ****Consequently, this has caused relations between Konoha and Suna to blossom. Apparently, when Tsunade and Gaara hold village council meetings, all Gaara does is stare at Tsunade's rack and nod his agreement every time she proposes a deal.**

5. **A few of Gaara's hobbies are the following: Jump roping, Teddy bear collecting, Popping Balloons, and Killing. And I bet you thought a killing machine doesn't know how to have fun.**

6. **Only Naruto knows this, but has kept it a secret, for Gaara has sworn to make sure Naruto dies the second news about it gets out. This death threat, however, did not stop Naruto from laughing like an idiot while clutching his stomach, and rolling all over Suna's main roads. To this day, Naruto still holds the record for the longest distance covered through rolling, setting it at a jaw-dropping 6862.23 meters. And the only reason he stopped was because he bumped into the village wall.**

7. **Contrary to popular belief, Gaara could actually use an impressive set of jutsu, but never actually uses them in battle, deeming his sand as more convenient, and hand seals as 'troublesome'. Some of these are the Greater Fireball Jutsu, Water Dragon Jutsu, and the Breakthrough Jutsu.**

8. **Ever since Orochimaru's invasion of Konoha, Temari would keep yapping on about how Shikamaru was very cool and how she would like to 'do' him in the near future, and would then proceed to glomp on a random pillow in plain sight of Gaara. Most likely, she was doing this because she thought Gaara simply didn't care. Bu****t she was wrong.**

9. **During his short stay in Konoha for the Chunin exam, he noticed that the girls of the village were all attracted to one Uchiha Sasuke. So he rigged the test results so that he would face this boy in a battle during the semi-finals, to inquire about the trade secrets of how to be attractive. ****Actually, the reason that Gaara went on a rampage was because Uchiha Sasuke refused to share his expertise on the subject. The blood was just his cover story. Why would he use too much chakra just for a little blood, anyway?**

10. **Contrary to popular belief, Gaara loves baths. He prefers it with lukewarm water. Maybe the reason for this is that he doesn't get to bathe a lot, for he is defenseless when doing it. When he became Kazekage, he could only bathe once a month, and when he does, all the shinobi of Suna forms a perimeter around his house, to 'protect the Kazekage'.**

11. **Gaara has such a good memory that he remembers everything ever since he was an infant. He looks back at those days with embarrassment, regretting the carefree smiles he gave just because of people making 'silly faces' in front of him.**

12. **Details about his 10th smile were hard to come by, for all the witnesses were crushed via Sand Coffin on the spot. The only information gathered was that it involved a chicken, paintballs, green paper cranes, and some alcohol in an infiltration mission to Oto. The government of the village didn't even bother to sue, as just knowing that somebody made the Kazekage smile was enough for them. This happened on the third of June, some time when Naruto was training with Jiraiya outside Konoha.**

13. **Coincidentally, Naruto and Gaara have gained a cousin to cousin relationship over the years, even though they had no idea they actually were cousins.**

14. **All Gaara's visits to Konoha succeded in doing, though, was making Gaara even lazier than before, completely giving up other jutsu and settling for his sand. He also picked up the habit of calling mundane things 'troublesome' and staring at the sky, though when he does it, he instead looks deep in thought, unlike Shikamaru who plainly looks bored.**

15. **Apparently, Gaara became a jonin and the Kazekage all in one day.**

16. **In his lifetime, only 5 known people have injured him while he was conscious. These are the following: His father, Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Deidara of the Akatsuki, and some random Samurai he met somewhere.**

17. **The said samurai that injured Gaara is still in the hospital. The poor thing was gelded, blind, crippled, deaf, and mute after the encounter. And all he did for it was accidentally poke his sword at the cheek of some weird boy with giant eye bags while downing a bottle of booze.**

18. **Actually, Gaara always knew where Sasuke was, and he always made a Sand Eyeball follow him around when he's not looking, to further observe what about him makes girls tick. In hindsight, he could have just told Naruto and his comrades about the whereabouts of the missing-nin, but then, he would then have to give an explanation as to how he knew, so he didn't.**

19. **Gaara once tried to blacken his hair using a felt tip marker. He was in the process of painting three _tomoe_ on the red contact lenses that he constructed using the silica in his sand when Kankurou barged into the room. To this day, mentioning the color 'black' to Kankurou would still make him slap his knee and fall to the floor laughing while clutching his stomach. Kankurou actually held the previous record on rolling, getting as far as 5184.46 meters of rolling before bumping into a wall, until Naruto stole his title.**

20. **Gaara has yet to notice, but the things he had learned about attracting women he currently applies have actually scored him some admirers. One of his more famous admirers was the younger sister of the heir to the Hyuuga clan, Hyuuga Hanabi. The girl even said that she was into emo-goth. Upon hearing this statement, Sarutobi Konohamaru quickly donned new threads and adapted a new attitude, one that could pass as emo-goth.**

21. **To this day, the village of Otogakure still holds a festival every 3rd of June, where every citizen is required to wear smile all day and wear red wigs. If you ask him, he would deny it, but Gaara had once thought of destroying Otogakure single handedly because of this. And yes, the Oto-nin hold this festival for the sole reason of annoying the Kazekage.**

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><p>So, what did you think? This is my first take on the "facts" thingy, so I'm not that good. Please leave your 2 cents about it.<p>

Ciao!

PS. Apparently, these types of fics are not allowed. (Thanks for the info, _TheRealGoodyTwoShoes_!) So now, I know that I need to make an expansion or so, and use this chapter as some sort of Table of Contents, and as such, I can't do what I originally planned for this fic. So, I'll be keeping this chapter up, until I finish expounding all 21, and take it down then. So no more lists! YAY!


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